Journal 6: Outline

1. Opening Scene:

a. Story about standing up, putting on hat, and singing “Deck the Halls”

b. Every starts asking what he was doing and making fun of him

c. Doesn’t stop and just makes faces at people

2. Illustrative Quote

a. “I mean I don’t really care if people think it’s weird. Ya know?”

3. Nut Graph

a. Bob is a very interesting person who does a lot of funny things.

b. I will use some quotes from other people about him to show how interested people are in the strange things he does.

c. He’s also a very nice person who would do anything to help someone else out, which is something that would be a little more difficult to recognize.

4. Background

a. Met Bob in High School and decided to room together

b. He grew up in Chalfont, PA and went to St. Jude School

c. Include some story from past if can get one (I don’t have any good one as of right now but plan to talk to him about it)

5. Supporting Information

a. Describe what he does one day just sitting in the dorm room

b. Focus on strange things to demonstrate why this is an interesting topic

c. Quote things that he says

6. Supporting Information

a. Describe one day when he is studying in room with friends

i. Very focused and work very hard

ii. No notice of what is going on around them

b. This anecdote shows both strange characteristics and how helpful he can be because, after about an hour, he didn’t need to study anymore but continues studying to help friends out.

7. Supporting Information

a. Story about giving up bed for friend who couldn’t get home that night because she was left alone by her friends

b. Walked her all the way back to West Halls early the next morning

c. Got very mad at his friend for leaving her alone at night

d. Focus primarily on being nice to others rather than strange things he does

8. Conclusion

a. Use quotes from other people to show both why he is interesting but also how caring he can be.

b. I want to make both aspects of his personality clear.

Journal 5: Profile

My dorm room is a small room. On either side of the entrance are two desks, mirrors, and closets. Behind each of the two desks are two unmade beds with navy blue comforters. Between the two beds sits a 17-inch flat screen TV on top of a microwave, which itself sits on top of a TV. The microwave and refrigerator are connected by screws and are a common site in dorm rooms at Penn State. On the front of our refrigerator are numerous strange phrases. One sentence reads, “I workout with consent”, while another reads, “I respect sleep.” These sentences are formed by numerous magnets which have words written on them, which have been pushed together by my roommate.

I look over to the left and there is my roommate, Bob. He sits there hunched over his computer for the better part of many weeknights. His computer game is pulled up on the screen. All I can see from my seat is the outline of what looks like the outline of a small town. He has on a loose, long-sleeved, white t-shirt. At the wrists the shirt is too loose and the bottoms of the sleeves droop when he holds his hands up to reveal his boney wrists. His poorly shaped beard looks like awkwardly formed facial hair instead of a beard intentionally shaped in that way. Occasionally, he yells something at the Phillies game, which is on the TV.

“He’s just, well, he’s just Bob. That’s really the only way to describe it.” – Conor McGonigle. Conor has been a good friend of Bob for several years. He also roomed with Bob in the summer session here at Penn State and knows him very well.

“I mean I don’t really care if people think it’s weird. Ya know?” – Bob. Bob said this after I was making fun of him for his this crazy hat that he has. It is made of frizzy strands made to look a little like a wig. Half of the strands are blue and the other half are white for Penn State colors.

“He does a lot of goofy stuff, but he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve ever met.” – Nate Kurylo. Nate is another friend of Bob’s from high school. I like this quote because it underlines one of the main points that I want to portray in my paper; it doesn’t really matter how odd some of the stuff he does seems because he’s really a cool and nice guy.

One thing that I found interesting on Bob’s Facebook is that he likes “that kid got mad over an A- when you just got a D.” This says a lot about Bob’s laid back approach to a lot of things because although he does well in school, he never really gets too worked up about it. Another interesting fact that I found on his Facebook is that Bob’s AIM address is soccerbert21. I found this interesting because I have never really heard him use the name Bert. Another fact that I found from his mom is that he hates the name Robert. A final fact that I learned from his mom is that he is extremely close with his family.

One area that I found that I want to investigate is the reason that Bob hates the name Robert, and where the name Bert came from. Another area that I think that I want to look into more would be talking to more members of his family because I think that they might have some useful information that I did not expect.

Journal 4

In the broadcast “#1 Party” school, the reporters do clearly define the issue in a way that will make sense to the listener. Starting out with the sounds of one night in downtown State College was a great way of showing the listener the issue that the report covered. One reason that this issue needed to be investigated immediately was that Penn State had just been named the #1 party school by Princeton review. The reporters used the prologue to show the listeners why this was a pressing issue. Later in the report, many of the biggest problems associated with underage drinking on Penn State’s campus were discussed. The reporters talked about deaths that resulted from drinking, many of the crimes that students commit while out drinking, and the fact that the school has not done enough to combat underage drinking. One group who is greatly affected by this issue is those who are living in State College. The report covers in great depth the things that those who live close to campus have to deal with during the night hours on weekends and some weekdays. I have very mixed feelings about this issue. On one side I think it is unfair for people to have to deal with a lot of the things that happen to them and their houses as a result of living near the campus, but on the other hand I think they had to know what they were getting themselves into by moving into that area. It would be just foolish to think that you could move in right near a college campus and not have to deal with a lot of problems from the students. Anyone who wants to find out about the party scene at a school simply has to do a little research, and before you buy a home you should definitely do a lot of research about the area.

One person who is quoted is one of the reporter’s friend, Sarah, who lives in downtown State College. Her quotations and stories are used to show the many ways that people living in the area are affected by the drinking and partying. They also quote a delivery boy named Alex Moore who represents the problems for him trying to do his job that are created by the partying. Students, police officers, school officials, and local business owners are all quoted to help show how each group is affected by and involved in the drinking scene at Penn State. The reporters draw the conclusion that partying at Penn State is a problem because of the dangers associated with it and the effect that it has on others in the area.

I like a lot of the ideas discussed in this report. The reporters do a good job of covering the issue and talking to all of the people affected by and involved in it. I would have liked the report to address the fact that people living and working in the area chose that location with the knowledge that they would be near a college campus. I really liked that the report addressed what the school is doing to combat underage drinking and partying at Penn State. Quoting Graham Spanier worked very well. I also really liked that they were able to get interviews with students who had been drinking and were out causing problems. Having a colleague who lived in State College made a lot of the most important contributions to this piece possible.

Journal 3

3. From what Lamott has to say, is writing a first draft more about the product or the process? Do you agree in regard to your own first drafts? Explain.

From what Lamott has to say, writing a first draft is more about the process. She discusses specific steps of her own process. I like how she shares specific examples of how she moves through this process because I go through a lot of the same steps as I go through my own writing process. The first draft never really becomes a product. Even a finished first draft is still just a step in the writing process. One thing that Lamott says that I can really identify with is that most writers don’t just sit down and start writing with ease. I can definitely relate to her initial panic and frustration when she first tries to begin to write. When I get writing assignments for school, I almost always think that I am screwed when I first start to write. I always feel like I am in trouble because I have no idea where I am going to go with my writing. I like that she focuses on the fact that the first draft really does not matter because no one else will see it. I can definitely identify with the way her first draft comes out. At first things that I write make almost no sense, are poorly organized, and often seem to be about five different topics instead of one main topic. Just like Lamott, I always end up cutting large portions of my first draft almost immediately. I can also relate to her first attempt to put words onto the page not working out. This part of her process is something that I also often struggle with. Many times, I will plan on starting a writing assignment well before it is due, but I often end up with nothing written after the first time I sit down to write. I usually sit down to write and then will type then delete the first sentence over and over again before deciding to give up. I often walk away to do something else. Lamott talks about how she makes phone calls or gets something to eat when she gets stuck. I usually do something very similar. Often I will get up and go running or get something to eat. When I return to write, I, like Lamott, begin to put a lot of ideas down onto the page. Many of the entire paragraphs I will later decide to cut out completely. When I read my first draft, I regularly think, “I don’t know why I thought that was at all relevant” because a lot of the things that I wrote had nothing to do with the topic of my paper. I think that writing down things that I will actually later cut out is constructive because it allows me to pick the best examples and ideas. I really like a lot of the ideas that Lamott presents in this piece because I can easily relate to a lot of the things she says. When I was writing my rough draft for my personnel narrative, I followed a process very similar to the one that she discusses.